The sun goes down
The stars come out
And all that counts
Is here and now
My universe will never be the same
I'm glad you came . Change this with yours.
change this with yours xxx
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sometimes i really dont know what the hack am i doing.
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Monday, October 27, 2008
this entry was a while back.
was contemplating whether to post it or not
its like a cycle.
its been so long yet i still let the same thing happen again and again...and again.
i sat down and think hard over what exactly is wrong.
i have no idea why my tears fall down so quickly.
i classified my tears into two categories.
the first one is is normal usual kind when i watch kdrama,
the other which im experiencing now is literally 'hot tears stream down my face'.
i came to understand that whenever im feeling that certain depth of pain and grief,
these hot tears will just come without even me noticing.
as time passes, my tears became lesser and lesser.
its pretty obvious that i cry alot as seen from those burst capillaries under my eyes.
its not those late night studying, its those helpless sleepless nights.
the pain in my heart cannot be simply explain through words in this post.
i want to talk to somebody so badly now.
but i dont know who to call.
a few people came into my mind.
but im afraid to call.
i didnt want them to think that i only contact them when i need them.
i want to call mom so badly.
she always make me feel better.
but i didnt want her to worry about me.
afterall, im the superdaughter she doesnt have to worry about.
im putting so much strain on my eyes after crying for so long and not getting even rest.
i can hardly see anything.
im having this splitting headache from crying..
i rmb mom told me once that i can become blind for crying so much when i was younger.
usually when im so upset, i will just go out and chill out with friends.
but when exams' next week, i simply cannot just go out.
i find no means to relieve this piercing pain in my heart except to comtinuing typing.
ppl used to tell me that they love my eyes.
but as i grew older, i began to hear lesser of it.
i wonder is it because ive messed up my eyes by crying ever since 'we' exist.
theres was a period of time my tears kinda dried up.
i no longer cry.
i felt numb to everything.
i kinda forgot how it feels like to be numb.
but i rmb not crying, just being oblivious to all tt was happening.
but it was you who made me feel excited, happy, nervous, hopeful... again
now u made me regret tt i made that choice.
i feel like leaving this place.
please. make me feel better